Group shot from a video on Delta Phi Epsilon’s Instagram (Image: Bronwyn Donovan)
One of the most worrisome parts about college is going into it feeling alone and worrying that will soon become your reality. For many, the hardest part is not even the insane amount of time that we put into our work, but rather achieving the feeling of belonging at a place that is supposed to be a community.
At St. Norbert College, that expectation feels even stronger.
St. Norbert’s most commonly-used motto is “communio.” As all St. Norbert students typically know, this word is defined as the ideal of a community united as one, grounded in the Christian understanding of God as Trinity. It is written in brochures, spoken of at orientation and woven into campus traditions. It is not just a word; it is a promise the college makes to us.
But like any promise, it can feel complicated.
At a small school like St. Norbert, social life can feel like one of two extremes: you either find your place quickly, or you spend a lot of time wondering if you ever will. The same faces in the Caf every day. The same groups sitting in the same spots. The same Friday night routines. For some students, that familiarity becomes comfort. For others, it becomes a quiet reminder that they still have not found where they belong.
Small campuses promise community. And they do deliver, but not automatically. Community is not handed out at orientation with a campus map and a meal plan. It is built. It is searched for. Sometimes, it is stumbled upon by accident.
For me, that accident was joining Delta Phi Epsilon.
Going through recruitment felt overwhelming at first. I remember questioning whether I would fit in, whether I would find girls who truly understood me, whether it would all just feel forced. Instead, it became the best decision I have made in college.
Through Delta Phi Epsilon, I found more than friends. I found structure, accountability and a sense of purpose. I recently stepped into leadership as Vice President of Recruitment, a role that is pushing me out of my comfort zone and into rooms where I am learning to speak confidently, plan intentionally and represent something bigger than myself.
Leadership at a small school looks different. There are fewer layers. Fewer buffers. When you hold a position, you feel its weight. You see the impact directly. You cannot hide behind numbers or anonymity. That pressure is intimidating, but it is also transformative.
Greek life, however, is not what it once was.
Across small campuses nationwide, membership is declining, recruitment numbers shrink each year. Conversations about cost, time commitment and relevance are louder than ever. Some question whether Greek life still has a place in modern college culture.
I understand those concerns. Greek life is not for everyone. It should never be the only path to belonging. But I also think something deeper is happening.
Students today are craving authenticity. They do not want forced traditions or surface-level connections. They want spaces where they are fully seen. When Greek life becomes more about appearances than people, it struggles. When it centers real sisterhood and leadership, it thrives.
At a school like St. Norbert, social life can feel fragile. One bad weekend can feel like a verdict on your entire college experience. One missed invitation can feel isolating. The smaller the campus, the louder those feelings echo.
But small schools also offer something rare: intimacy. You are not just a number in a lecture hall. Professors know your name. Classmates notice when you are gone. When you find your people, the bond feels different, tighter, deeper, more personal.
The reality is that not everyone will find their community in the same place. Some will find it in athletics. Some in theater. Some in campus ministry. Some in late-night study sessions that turn into life talks. And yes, some of us find it in Greek life.
The danger is not that Greek life is shrinking. The danger is when students stop believing they deserve to belong anywhere at all.
“Communio” is not just something we say. It is something we are supposed to live. A community united as one does not mean everyone is the same. It means we are intentional about making space for one another, especially for the students who walk onto campus feeling alone and terrified that loneliness will define their college experience.
I used to think fitting in meant blending perfectly into a group. Now I think it means being fully yourself and still being chosen. Delta Phi Epsilon gave me that. It gave me sisters who celebrate my wins, call me out when I need it and stand next to me when things feel uncertain. It gave me a leadership role that showed me I am capable of more than I thought.
Greek life may be changing. Social scenes may shift. Trends will come and go. But the need for connection will never disappear.
At St. Norbert College, you will either feel like you fit in or like you are still searching. My hope is that we stop pretending belonging is automatic and start recognizing that it is built, through vulnerability, through risk and through saying yes when it feels scary.
Because somewhere on this small campus, your people are waiting.
And when you find them, “communio” stops being a motto and starts becoming your reality.